Positive Thoughts.....

A few weeks ago my sister and her kids were involved in a very serious accident. Her son, Clark, ended up in Kosiar Children's Hospital ICU and to be honest this was the worst thing  I have ever seen. If I never see a child like that again it will be way too soon. During this time I being the one who is always there and doing everything for everyone worked, went to the hospital, made phone calls and etc for everyone while not taking care of myself. And as most of you know this is just the way I am, but this time in doing so I made myself very sick. I ended up with the worst headache I have ever had and all due to my B/P being way out of control. I had to learn how to step back and let others take control for my own health & well being. In learning this lesson I have also learned that I need to be more positive on things in my life. For instance while I am traveling instead of being upset because I am without my family I now look at this way, I have a family to go home too. Unlike some of my co-workers. David and I lives have never been easy and to be honest may never be easy but the one thing we do share is a true love and trust in each other. So from this experience I am now setting out on a new personal journey by trying to be more positive in my life. Seeing things in my own life in a positive light instead of the negative I am hoping this will help me with my Fibromyalgia and well as my B/P. I plan on blogging more to help me achieve this goal. This will be my sounding board on how I am doing and the failure along the way. Hopefully there won't be too much failure but we will see....

Busy days....

Well since I last posted we have been busy with school and my work trips. I also have been going through some personal challenges. I have had a hard time dealing with some issues and although they have finally come to a head in the process I lost, what I thought was great friendships. I am struggling to learn how to close this door in my life and in learning this very hard life lesson. I am only hoping by going through this process I will see a door with another opening on the other side with a light that is very bright. And although I know I will not be the same from this experience I do know I will be stronger or at least I hope I will be.

Onto other news I finally convinced a doctor to take me and the pain of this disease seriously. And although it took me asking the doctor to admit me to the hospital and cut off my leg to get her to listen at least I got her attention! Okay I know that was bad approach to it but I am so frustrated with this disease. It is only getting worse as time goes on and the pain is not the only issues anymore. I am having short term memory issues, dropping things, speaking words backwards, and the list could go on and on. So she has now put me on Lyrica and I hope this will help. I do know after a week of being on it the pain is decreasing so maybe it will work. At least I pray it does.

David 50th Birthday

Here is David sometime in the 80's I think....

And  here is the love of my life today......

Although he swears he is only turning 30 this weekend we all know the truth!!

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!! Love ya!

David & I 12th Annivesrey

David and I will be married 12 years tomorrow! I can't believe how fast time goes because it sure doesn't feel like we have been togther that long. David and I have had a rough life, financial that is, as a couple but we always seem to find comfort in each other. David, as most of you know, has 13 hip replacements and I have been with him for at least 4 of those replacements. As well as numerous times for them "popping" out of place. This year David is finding it harder to walk and as much as he & I would love to deny this he will soon need the assistance of a weelchair. I find this very upsetting and I tend to cry alot, well when he is not looking! I know that he will be okay but to see this part of his life slipping away is heartbreaking to say the least. The one thing I do know is this he & I will face this new challenge with the same spirit that has gotten though all these years. I am so honored that he choose me to be his wife and I feel very blessed to have him in my life. We were truly blessed to find each other and if there is only 1 thing I would like to change is that we would have meet each other a lot more earlier in life. We already had Ash when we got married and we also was blessed with David Jr in 2000. Life in the Harlow household may never be easy but it is truly filled with love each and every day.  I fill very blessed to say I have a husband who I can truly come home to that will help me in every step of my life. Thanks honey for all the memories and I hope to spend many more years with you! Love ya!!

Baby Dwarf Hamsters

Ashley hamster gave birth this week to 8 baby dwarf hamsters so that now means we have 10 hamsters in the house! UGH!! But they are so tiny and cute!! Unlike dogs or cats the mom is ready for them to leave the nest at 3 weeks of age so they won't be around long. Ashley has been really good with this and is following what she has learned from the web and not touching the babies and is giving the mom her space. She does how ever take photo's of them daily to mark there little life. It is so cute to see her with this, she has really grown up and is going to be a great mom someday. Now that I say that I do hope it is a long time away before she does this and of course I do believe it will be. I am posting pics of the little ones & the mom and who we think is the dad but the babies are sort of ugly right now but soon they will be cute cuddly little hamsters.

Mom before the babies

Mom a day or so before she had her little ones!

Dad, maybe??

The babies day 1

The babies day 2

I will post more of them as they grow!

David Jr & I Adventure Day

So David Jr is very upset lately with how much I am gone for work and asked if we can have a Adventure Day with just him & I. My thought was yeah sure but then came the oh crap feeling because I know what to do with Ash but what do I do with David?? So after several days of thought I came up with Bernheim Forest. It was still hot but we really enjoyed our time together. He of course is getting older and asking more questions that are really a dad and son talk so I avoided those answer and then he spoke of some issues he has with some "friends" and of course we shared alot of laughs. Over all it was a really good day just to be mom & son and I hold onto these days more now then ever with Ashley getting ready to head to college in a year because I know how fast these times will fly by!! We finished off our day together heading to Feeders Supply to give Bella a bath. Now that turned into a true adventure!! I don't have photo's from that one because I was way too busy keeping Bella still but I do have some from the forest!

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The start of the Adventure!!

I just love his silly grins!!

He always trying to figure something out!!

Ashley Senior Pics

Well as promised hear are some of the photo's from Ashley senior pictures. Gin did an awesome job, like I knew she would!! We had a blast together and although it was very very hot that day everything went well. We even took Kerry with us and let me tell you that girl was a champ! For being 2 and dealing with the heat she did awesome! Gin talents amaze me she has so many of them!! I am truly blessed to have her and her family in our family lives. She has been truly a second mom to my kid's and I am so grateful for her!!

I love her smile in this one!

I just love this one! 

She is such a beautiful girl with lot's of talent and I just know what she puts her mind too she will accomplish. To say I am sad to see her grow up and leave home is putting it slightly. But I know that it is time to let her go. I will miss her greatly but I know that it is time for her to grow on her own and make her mark in this world. I can only pray that I have given her enough guidance for her to succeed!! Ashley I love you and you make your mother & father very proud!!

Weekend Fun

Well this weekend started out with a surprise gift from a close relative with free Trace Adkins tickets!!! It was a outside arena and seeing how it has been above 95 degrees here the last couple of days it was hot!! But it was so worth the hot weather. David and I have been married 11, years soon to be 12, and we have never been to a concert it was a great experience!! We really enjoyed the concert and the alone time that we both needed. David has been a little down these days and I think this did him good.

Then today Gin, my very good friend & neighbor, agreed to take Ashley Senior photos at Bernheim Forest. This was a very sad time for me but a very good time as well. We took Kerry, Gin's daughter, along and made it a girls day. We had a blast!! But again it was very very hot!! We are all very exhausted from going but we so enjoyed our time together. I can't think Gin enough for spending her afternoon doing this for us! Gin you did a wonderful job and I was so glad you were with us to enjoy this time with her!! I only got one photo from this on my phone but trust me Gin got well over 200 photos so I will have more to post soon!!

Old Fashioned Ice Cream Social

So David Jr, Ashley, Jacob & I went to Fransley Morman Landing this weekend for the social and while David was digging this man comes up and starts to shoot pics of him then ask me what his name, age, & neighbored was. So I asked are you from the newspaper and sure enough he was!! Here is the pic from the story line with the story under it. Oh and Ashley & Jacob are behind them!!

David Harlow, Jr., 10, of Dixie Gardens learns how to properly look for artifacts from Rebekah Temple, archeologist for the Kentucky Archeology Survey at an old-fashioned ice cream social held at Riverside, the Farnsley-Moremen Landing. Temple said many of the historic artifacts found in the site's welcome center were dug up on the property by students.(By David R. Lutman, special to The Courier-Journal)July 11, 2010

Weekend

So I was able to get free tickets to the Bats game from work this week, so we decided that we would take DJ & his friend Kyle down to the game. We had a good time but it was very hot and we were sitting directly in the sun so we didn't stay seated for very long. And to be honest I am not a baseball kind of girl! But the boys had a fun so that to me was all that matter to me. DJ has finally hit the stage where he is embarrassed by things I do so I take these times as a gift now as I know that he will soon be too old to be okay with just being with mom!!

Sleepless Nights

I am not sure if it is Fibroymalgia or what but last night was one of those nights were I just couldn't get comfortable to sleep. I was in so much pain that it was just hard to get comfortable. So I tossed and turned until almost 3 in the morning. It was awful!! So needless to say today I am sure I will be dragging most of the day but I just can't let this get a hold of me. It upset's me when I have to tell my kids no I just can't do that right now and that happens more and more these days. For the most part I am able to push through the fatigue & pain but some days it just isn't going to happen. I have also noticed loud nosies bother me something awful now. So going into a large crowd just isn't something I can handle anymore. The worst part of this is that I only have a few friends who truly understand me and this problem, the rest just look at me and totally don't understand. Most of my family is that way as well. I am learning not to allow this to bother me as well. I can say one thing this has made me grow in ways that I just didn't know was possible for me. I am also very grateful for those people in my life who truly understand me & don't judge me but help me. Without them this just wouldn't be something I can handle. Thanks to all of you who help me!!

Vacation 2010

Well after all the travel I do without my family, I am finally able to enjoy some travel with them. We are not able to do much but we did decide to visit some amusement parks in the area. The first was yesterday to Kings Island and boy did we have a blast. Ash & her boyfriend Jacob got me on my very first water ride and it was a blast. But I did about have a panic attack while we climbed the stairs and waited on the stairs to get to the ride but the ride it self was scary but oh so much fun!! To say I am sore today is really understated and I am sore in places that I didn't know that could get sore! But for the kiddo's I will put myself through any pain as long as there having fun. We are taking the day off today to rest then off to another amusement park tomorrow. I only pray I am able to do all the walking but I know that after that visit we will be sticking close to home the rest of the time so I will push myself to enjoy these very few days at home with my family. Enjoy the pics they are from the park and the one of DJ just makes me chuckle he is such a funny kid!

 

Back home after a long week..

Well I am back home after a very long week. Harrisburg was very interesting to say the least. While I was there I started some new symptoms that I never noticed before. When I get very tired and haven't had allot of sleep I start to feel very ill. Almost like flu like symptoms but after I get some rest I do get better. I have always heard from my on-line friends whom have the same disease that they have times where the "crash"  are unable to do anything and I am just hoping that I am not heading that same way. With David not being able to work and I am not able to just take off for days on end it would not be a good thing for us. Other then that and my normal pains it was a pretty good week.

I did get to do some exploring Monday afternoon after I arrived and then again on Wednesday afternoon. Monday I was able to tour the Hersey factory and let me tell you it was great!! They actually have a grocery store area where you can buy all of the candy they make. It was great!! Also on Wednesday I found time to explore some of Gettysburg and that was wild to see history in front of you and to know how many American men died during this time just to give us our freedom that we have today. It was very moving to say the least!! Here are some photo's from both visit.

Going into the Gettysburg Museum & Visitor Center

You can actually sit here with Abe and get your photo taken!

One of the many monuments that you can find along the auto tour of the battlefield

Going into Hersey's Chocolate World. I would love to go back with my family and take more of a tour then I was able to on Monday. The smell in there was out of this world!!

Still in Chocolate World!! They have a deli and other food that you can purchase as well as ice cream with all the Hersey's Chocolate you can stand! It was great!!

Time for some positive blogging...

So I read back on some of my blogging the last few times and didn't care for all the negative and thought I would type something more positive, so here it goes...
I will be traveling to Harrisburg PA next week for work and as always when I go somewhere new I try to research where I am going and here are a few things I have learned..... It is the captial of Pennsylvania and next to Hershey PA and is known as Harrisburg-Hershey & Central Pennsylvania. Which means the Hershey factory is right next door, yum!! The Susquehanna River is there and they offer steamboat rides. Also this area is large on Civil War history and is not very far from Gettysburg ( I think about 45 min). Not that I will be able to do much with having to work but I will be giving it a big go to try and hit the spots I can after I finish my day. I hope to visit the Hershey factory and maybe travel around the Harrisburg area after the day is over and with the sun not going down till about 9 at night now I just may do that! I am not big on going out on my own at dark in strange cities but I will have my GPS with me so during the day all I will have to do is pop in an address and off I will go!! Of course these visits are always a little sad leaving my family behind but I reason this in my head by stating I see them on Monday and I am back on Friday so really this is not too many days! David is really good about keeping me up to date on what the kiddo's are doing and he is the best husband when it comes to me traveling because he takes care of everything while I am gone. With all this said I have to admit I am excited about traveling to a new area this year and I am looking forward to seeing some new sights! Oh and one more thing with my I Phone I should be able to update, if I have time too, next week while I am gone!! 

National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day

I could not let this day pass without posting. My wish for this day are several to be honest. The first thing is that the medical world would first and for most recognize this as a real disease. It is as real as diabetes, CHF, COPD or any other disease that is out there. Second that there is some type of management of this diseases. I  know that there will not be a cure, but there has to be a way to handle it better then there is now. Third would be that people who call you there friends, but in the end are not, would not be like oh you don't act like there is a problem most days so there is not one or that they make fun of you on days when you really can't walk by saying well you just need to walk it off. You can't walk this off, yes exercise is good for this disease but in moderation. You should never push yourself to do anything that you can't do when you are in pain because with this disease  trust me it can & will get worse. Sorry for the complaining but I just had to vent!

Weekend Getaway!!

David & I have finally made it to our alone time. We have had a blast and reconnected with each in ways that I didn't even know we needed too!! We visited the Titanic exhibit down in Pigeon Forge and although we are both exhausted from our journey we both had a blast! I learned more about the ship then I thought I would. Like the men in the boiler rooms never left there and some of the men were not paid! There pay was the voyage to America! Wow!! I am posting pics from our visit. They would not allow us to take pictures from inside the ship but here are some from the outside. Let me tell you it is well worth trip to come and see this.

Also today was Mothers day and I came home to a wonderful vase of flowers and a nice purse. I feel very blessed to have my kids in my life. Live is not always easy with them but I wake up every day thanking god for the blessing of them both!! I love them both very much and very proud to call them my kids!

Awareness Day

Long Week

It has been a very long tiring week! I am so glad it is behind me. I noticed something new this week about me. My shoulders are sore and in a knot. Even at the bottom of my neck where it meets my back is numb from the tension I suppose. So a friend of mine at work said hey I will give you a massage. Well let me just say this it hurt so bad!! She kept telling me to relax and enjoy it but I just didn't have the heart to tell her she was hurting me! I thought it was so kind of her to even offer to help me! Just one more reminder, that I didn't need by the way, as my life going forward will be like with Fibromyalgia. I also have found this week by the time I get home I am so sleepy it takes everything I have to stay awake. I just want to be "normal" again!!

As most of you know I am a huge Titanic fan, and they just opened up a new permanent exhibit in Pigeon Forge Tn so David & I are getting away for some alone time. Due to all my travels with work I have earned enough points to stay in a hotel free and we have a gift card to a restaurant so dinner will be free. So the only cost to us is the exhibit and the gas. The only problem is that when I planned this I didn't think about Mothers day and of course I booked on that weekend. I feel bad about this but I have to keep reminding myself I will be home with the kiddo's on Sunday afternoon. I will post pics when I get back next week.

I hope everyone has a great weekend and Happy Mothers Day to everyone!!

Wet Sunday

Well it has been very raining here lately and it is doing nothing for the pain. Since I last blogged I tried steroid injections, not a good ideal. Been told there is nothing anyone can do for me because to be honest every test that I have had proves out to be fine. So they see no reason for me to have this pain. I am becoming depressed more everyday because the pain is just to much to handle. I spend my weekends locked up in my house doing nothing but sleeping and using heating pads because I am so much pain I can't seem to do anything else. I look at women my age going to parks with there kids, participate in so many family activities that I just can't do and it just get's me more down. I have come to realize there is no help for me in the medical world and have now went into to just pain management. Not the hard drug kind but pain patches and Tramadol in low doses, which some day doesn't even begin to help with the pain. But I go on because I believe that sitting down and saying enough is not an option. My husband, David, has never done that with his 13 hip replacements and is a great motivation for me to keep going. He is also there when I hit my lows to pick me up and say keep going!

On to other news in the family my daughter Ashley had her Junior prom a few weeks ago and was beyond beautiful. She also this week applied for her first college and alothough all this also makes me sad I am a very proud mom! She has turned out to be a very talented young lady and I truly believe that if she doesn't let life get in the way she will be able to accomplish all of her dreams! Here photo from prom is above.

Progress I hope!

I am now doing therapy with PT. Once a week in there office and the other 2 days in the pool with them at the local Y. My friend Gin & I also started doing yoga at her house, okay so I can't do it as long as I would like but I lasted 5 min on that one!! I have also started using more vitamins. I am not sure what if any of this will do for me but I am at least hoping for more days without pain but I will settle for at least being able to go out with my family without alot of pain. I so need that more then anything! I am also very tired these days and wish I could just spend a couple of days in bed but that is not possible with my life right now. So I just settle for the weekends where I can sleep past 5 am! I am off again this week for another fun filled week of travel for work. Okay so it is not fun filled it is kinda boring but I have to put a positive spin on it!!

Long weekend

Well we had a very busy weekend, our son, DJ, turned 10 today so over the weekend we had a small birthday party for him with his friends and then our neighbor daughter turned 2 so we went to her party on Sunday. DJ had a blast at that one as well. So needless to say I am very tried and I don't feel like I have slept in days but it was so worth it to see there faces so happy. I love both of these kids and it was a joy to be with them both on there special days.

DJ, in the middle, Spencer, Kyle & Christopher

Kerry the birthday girl

Long long week

Okay so I am back from another work week of travel. To say I am exhausted is to say the least. As I sit here I am so tired I can barley type and my leg is killing me. My favorite saying for this is just please cut it off it would feel so much better if someone would. Besides driving today I also went to aqua therapy today and although I know this will/is suppose to help me with the pain doing that and the long drive makes it really hard on me. I just have to remember to keep going one day at at time. If only I could get some rest but this weekend will be busy as well, DJ will be 10 on Monday so we are having a small birthday party for him then our neighbor, Kerry, will be 2 on Sunday so we will be going to a birthday party for her as well. Then it is back to another work week here before I go out for another travel week on March 8th. Does it ever stop??

I am back!!

Okay so it has been awhile since I have posted and alot has changed! It has been a year of alot of changes for us. First we have lost both of our kitty's and we are very sad by this but we have now filled our house with 2 dogs. Sadie has been with us for a long time but we added a new puppy to the mix Bella. She is just a mess but very lovable! Second is how much our kids have gown in this year. Ashley is now driving and will be attending her junior prom very soon. This makes me feel very old! She is now trying to figure out what college she will soon be attending, and yes this also makes me very sad and feeling very old! DJ is growing up very fast and still keeps us laughing at all times. Nothing seems to surprise us anymore what he will come up with. We still have problems getting him to clean his room or to even help us out around the house but we still love him. He will reach the double digits in age in 1 week and I just can't believe how fast the time has gone with him as well. As far as David & I we are just as strong together as we have ever been. In fact I would say we are even stronger. The love we have for each never seems to fade no matter how rough it gets and for this I thank God everyday. As far as me I was recently diagnosed with Fibromaylgia and I am trying very hard to adjust to this. It is very painful and exhausting disease. You have intense pain and fatigue everyday with this diagnoses. What I find most discouraging with Fibromaylgia is when you see so many doctors for them to either say to you yes you have this problem but we don't treat it and or no we don't believe this is a disease one can have. So this last week I have started Aqua therapy for this and use my TENS unit alot but the pain is so bad that most weekends I spend on my couch being exhausted from working all week and in so much pain from working as well. But somehow I find the strength to get up every morning and face the changes that come towards me.